


Collide

by MlleSween



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, F/F, Teacher-Student Relationship, a bit of mental abuse from emma's mother, emma swan is too, i'm not saying this is a happy ending, regina mills is hot, so you're warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-21 01:52:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17633834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MlleSween/pseuds/MlleSween
Summary: What if she was the one?Based on the song Collide by Rachel Platten





	Collide

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, this is a fiction between our two fav women. The story is based on my own experience. I hope you'll enjoy as much as I did.

She didn't want to be here. She just wanted to be alone, not next to more than a hundred students waiting for their classes. She was sat in the back of the big room, lost in her thoughts.

Why was she there? Why a new school again? Because "new school" means "new hell". At least, in her previous one, she had friends. But since she told them her mother was forcing her to change school, they started to forget her. During summer, no one asked how she was doing, how she was preparing to her new school, no one. And when she tried to talk to them, they just didn't bother responding, so she forgot them too. She couldn't even see them after school because she now was in a different town. A different town means boarding school. That thought lead to another. Why did her mother put her in a boarding school? She was well aware that bus exist! Or even trains! She probably just wanted to give up on her daughter. It's not like they had the best relationship anyway. Her mother wasn't really a mother either. She was just a woman who either yelled at her at 2am when she was too drunk, either wouldn't allow her to see her father. So yeah, that was not the best relationship you could imagine.

"Swan. Emma Swan."

She almost fell of her chair.

"Yes?"

"You're the last on the list. You can follow Ms. Mills with the other students."

She didn't respond. She just took her backpack and followed. She was far away from the teacher so she couldn't really see what she looked like but hearing "omg this one's hot as heeeeell boiiii" made her wonder what Ms. Mills could possibly look like.

They entered the room and Emma sat in the back of it, next to a tall and skinny girl.

"Hi, I'm Ruby!"

"Emma."

"You're new, right?"

"Yeah, how did you guess?"

"Everyone knows everyone in this class, you're the only new girl so… It was kind of easy to guess!" she said with a smile

Emma didn't respond to that. "the only new girl"? Great. That was even worse than expected.

"Hi everyone. My name is Ms. Mills and I'll be your Poetry teacher for this year."

Wow. That guy was right. She was beautiful. So beautiful. This woman had a presence, the kind of presence you know everyone shush and listen. She wasn't particularly tall. She had sharp brown eyes and red-painted lips. **_how am I going to survive an entire year with this woman in front of me?_** _._ She had short brown eyes and a red dress. **_how could a dress fit so well to someone?_**

"…as you only have 2 years left before graduation, I believe you will put all the energy and work to success. I will not tolerate lazy people in my class. You are free to go if you're planning on that. Otherwise, welcome. I hope you'll enjoy this class as much as I will. You'll see, literature can be a whole new world for people."

Emma was delighted about what she had just heard. If there was one thing she loved, it sure was poetry. She could read during hours and hours. She could stay awake all night to read. She loved how words made her feels. It was an escape to her life, a way to forget the real world. She loved the meaning of the books, she loved their words. Hearing what her teacher had just said made her feel like she wasn't the only one. And that thought made her happy.

"I am now going to review the names list so I can put a face on the name."

This woman was really beautiful. She looked perfect. **_Swan! You ain't gona stare at her. And you ain't gonna think about her._** She thought. **_and you ain't gonna think she look amazing in that dress. Nope._** Okay, it was kind of too late now. Emma couldn't stop but staring at her new teacher. She had a smooth tanned skin, some high heels and… A ring. **_great. At least, you have a valid reason to stop._**

"… Emma Swan?"

The blonde girl looked up quickly at her, trying to act like she hadn't observe her the entire time.

"Hi…" she said with a shy voice.

"I heard you are new here."

"Uh, yeah..."

"Welcome then." She said with a smile

THAT SMILE. Oh my lord. It was the most beautiful smile Emma has ever seen. She had perfect white teeth and the liptick was just making it even more perfect.

"Thank you" she just said.

It was kind of strange, thought. Emma wasn't shy. She was not a social person. It took her a lot of time to open up to her previous friends. And look how it ended. So she wasn't planning on doing that again. But why was she shy with her new teacher? I mean, yes you have the respect and the rules but it never bothered Emma to be normal around teachers so that was new to her.

Class ended quickly as it was the first day so she was already heading to the boarding school. She hadn't a lot of time to talk to the other boarders as they all moved the night before. She entered the refectory and took a seat where there was no one around. "No one" lasted a few seconds as a brunette came to sit in front of her.

"Emma, hi! Remember me? I didn't know you were a boarder too!"

"Yeah, you're Ruby, right?"

"The one and only!"

Both of them laughed and Ruby talked again.

"Belle's coming so you're gonna meet her too! You'll see, she's the sweetest."

She turned around to see this other girl. She was small with long brown hair. Ruby was right, you could see on her face that she's couldn't hurt a butterfly.

"Her Rubes! How was your day?"

"Meh as always. BUT I have a new friend here and her name is Emma!"

"Nice to meet you Emma." Belle said as she took a seat next to Ruby.

"Nice to meet you too!"

"Belle isn't in the poetry section, she's in literature one. That's why you didn't see her in class earlier." Ruby said to Emma.

"How was your day by the way?" she asked turning her head to Belle.

"Interesting. The literature teacher was nice. I can't wait to have his class! It's always better than physics or something like that thought."

"Couldn't agree more" laughed Emma. The blonde was a little relieved, those girls seemed really kind and funny.

Once they had eaten, they headed back to the boarding school and Emma went to her room.

She had the rest of the day to read and unpack her suitcase so that was a good day.

The days went on and on. She started to feel more comfortable with her new friends and at school, everything was good. She already had some test and they went pretty well. In poetry class, everything was going good. She loved the subjects, the books the teacher was making them read and the first test went perfectly. On top of that, she could see her teacher 8 hours a week. And by "see her", I mean "stare not so discreetly". The only thing is that the teacher noticed her staring a few times. When all the students were working on their paper, she was just looking at her. It didn't last too long because she had to work too but she couldn't stop it. Sometimes the teacher looked up to see her class. She directly met those green eyes staring at her. She hold the gaze a few seconds then smiled at her student. The same student that blushed every time her teacher gazed at her.

The perfect grades didn't last longer. At home, it was a mess. It was very complicated. Her mother was angry all the time and it was hard to work and study when she was there. She would always take her papers, whatever she was working on, sat in front of her and asked her why she was taking so much time on it.

"what's that?"

"english, mom"

"What takes you so long?"

"We have a big test next week and I want to make sure I'm ready"

"And what takes you so long? It's probably because you don't know a damn thing."

"…"

"What are you going to do if you fail, uh? Because you're gonna fail, that's for sure. You're just like your father, a bad person who can't do anything in her life."

"Mom I jus-"

"Lower your voice when you speak to me."

"I-"

"Why can't you just be a good kid? Why are you doing that to me? What have I done?"

"Nothing mom, I'm sorry if I said something you didn't like but I just want to study an-"

"Oh yeah of course, excuses. Why do I have even a kid? Now I just have to take care of a stupid child."

It could last hours. Actually, most of the time, it lasted hours. She couldn't sleep a lot because the conversation was never over. It was only around 3am that she could finally sleep because her mother had decided that it was enough. So yeah, working at home was hard to do. The situation, all those conversations lead her to depression. Depression for such a young child. That was really hard for her at school. She was always sad, she always zoned out during classes and it was hard for her to focus. But she was doing her best. Her grades were okay, but never enough for her mother.

The weeks carried on the same way until October. October was a though month for Emma. It was her birthday's month. And as every year, her mother was going to drink all night, yell at her and then cry making Emma feel guilty. As every year, Emma was going to ask her father to come and pick her up to spend a day together but he would say no because of "how bad she was as a daughter" and "how pointless it would be". So yeah, a though month like I said.

The weekend of her birthday, she was at home. When her mother came to pick her up drunk, she already knew it was going to be a long weekend. Once they headed home, she ran to her bedroom, removed her backpack and on her bed and collapsed on her bed, earphones on.

"… You got me a lot of shit but, most of all you got me fucked up  
Tired of seeing all these things, think it's time I chucked the deuce up…"

She ended up falling asleep eventually. It's only around midnight that she woke up. Her first thought? Food. She needed food. Some kind of pizza, pasta or even ice cream would be perfect. She stood up and went to the kitchen. What a bad idea. For a few seconds, she had forgotten that her mother was there. Awake and drunk. She almost turned around to go back to her room but she was way to hungry. **_"it's gonna be okay, Emma. Stay calm, just take the food, no matter what kind of food and just go away."_** She opened the fridge and found some vegetables. **_this will be enough, now go and don't look_**

"You."

Emma stopped, slowly turned around. **_"it's gonna be okay. Just apologize for whatever she said you've done and then go"_**

"Yes, mom?"

"Why don't you have good grades?"

"I'm sorry… I'm trying"

"Not hard enough apparently."

"I'm sorry… I'll do my best, I promise."

"You can't do it. And you know why? Because you're so stupid that whatever you want to do, you're going to fail anyway."

"Mom stop…"

"Oh, why? Are you sad now? Did I hurt your feelings?"

"…"

"You've nothing to say, uh? Of course not. You know I'm right and you can't cope with it."

"Mom can I go please…?"

"No way. We're talking. It's too easy to run away. Why don't we just keep talking?"

"I'm tired… I just want to g-"

"Sit down."

"No."

"I said sit down."

"I don't want to."

"Okay. Don't sit, whatever." Emma knew it was going wrong. She tried so hard to stay calm but it was just too much.

"What are you going to eat? Not ice cream again, I hope. You're already too fat."

"It's just some vegetables…"

"You just shouldn't eat. At least you would lose weight."

"Stop." Emma couldn't do it anymore.

"Stop what?"

"What you're doing. What you're saying. Stop and let me go."

"No. You're staying. I want to talk some more with you."

"I don't want to. You're drunk and you're mean. I don't want to stay."

"I'm not drunk. I've had a few drinks but I know what I'm saying. And I'm not mean, you just can't accept the truth."

"STOP" Emma screamed. It was enough. She had to deal with that almost every weekend. She was so tired. She was tired of everything. She was tired of living.

"LOWER YOUR VOICE. You're in my house. If I say you're not going, you're not going."

"But it's just in my bedroom!"

"I said no."

Emma turned around, trying to go, trying to hide her tears but was stopped by her mother's arm.

"LET ME GO!"

"No, young girl."

"Stop! You're hurting me!" she screamed, tears all over her face.

"LIAR!"

Emma tried as hard as she could to get off her mother. She finally managed to do so and ran to her bedroom. She ran as quickly as possible because she knew her mother was following her.

Once in her bedroom, she closed her door. **_why don't I have the key when I need it?_**

"OPEN TO ME."

"No." she said, trying to keep her door closed as her mother was trying to open it.

"OPEN."

"Please… I'm begging you… Stop… I'm scared…"

Then nothing. Her mother wasn't trying to open the door anymore. She was gone. **_Oh my god…_** she thoughts, sitting on the floor, letting the tears fall one by one. She finally fell asleep a few hours later, laying down on the floor.

That weekend hasn't been a good weekend. Emma couldn't wait to get back to the boarding school. Ruby and Belle had been amazing with her. Belle, on one hand, was always sweet and kind, and Ruby, on the other, was the funniest girl around. That made a good trio. And she was very happy about it. The girls knew she had a complicated relation with her parents and they didn't try to know anything else. They would just spend hours and hours talking about random things. That's why Emma loved them. She could be herself.

"Hi guuuurl!"

"Hey Ruby! I'm so glad to see you!" she said, hugging her

"Wow, why so much love?"

"It's just been a rough weekend."

"Come, let's go!" she said, taking Emma by the hand and leading her to her own room.

When she opened, it was pure dark inside. It didn't seem to bother Ruby who entered the room anyway. Emma followed, wondering what was happening. Once Ruby had closed the door, the light popped up.

"Happy Birthdaaay!" Ruby and Belle said at the same time

"Oh my god… You guys shouldn't have!" said Emma once she saw the little cake with a candle on it.

"You're our friend and we love you. Never forget it."

Emma hugged them so hard, she was almost crying. Those two girls were her friends. They really were.

"I love you both too."

Despite that moment where she felt happy, everything was back to normal. She was feeling sadder and sadder. Even in poetry class, she stopped looking at Ms. Mills. After a few days, she stopped smiling. The she stopped talking.

"Miss Swan, can you stay for a moment please?"

"Of course."

Once all the students were gone, the teacher talked.

"Emma, are you okay?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Ms. Mills looked deeply in the young girl's eyes. It was as she could see inside her.

"If there's something you need to tell someone, if you want to talk to someone, I want you to know that I'm here. Okay?"

"Thank you."

"Will you sit for a few minutes?"

"Okay"

Once she was sat, the teacher started to talk again.

"Why don't you tell me what's going on?"

"It's nothing. Just family problems."

"Oh. I see. Well, if you want to talk about it, feel free to do it. It's the end of the day and I have time."

Emma didn't know how to act or what to say. It was a very kind offer. But Emma didn't know if she was ready to let it go yet. But as she wasn't talking about it with her friends and that she had no one else, she thought **_maybe it would be good for me_**.

So Emma talked. And Miss Mills listened. It lasted about half an hour. At the end, Emma was crying and she could have sworn that her teacher was about to cry too.

"I've had a hard childhood too, you know. You're not the only one. You're not alone."

"Thank you very much."

They talked a little bit more and when it was time to go, Emma stood up and took her backpack. She was ready to go when she heard her.

"Emma?"

"Yes?" she said, coming next to the teacher's desk.

"I want you to know that I'm happy you talked to me." She said, taking Emma's hand in hers. "I hope it made you feel a little bit better."

"Yes it did, ma'am." Her response made her teacher smile. Then, she saw in her eyes that she was thinking about something.

"How about you come here every Tuesday? So you can talk about it with someone."

"Hum yeah, sounds good. But you don't have to. Really."

"I insist. You're a lovely, smart girl, Emma. I want to help you."

"Thank you then."

The teacher finally let her hands go.

"Great. I'll see you next time, then. Have a good evening, Emma."

Before leaving, the teacher put a little kiss on Emma's cheek. That made her blush like if she was in hell.

Every week from then, she was happier. She was waiting for every Tuesday to come. It has been a few months now since they had that conversation and she started to forget how bad her weekends were. In class, she was more active, she sat closer to the boards in every course to be more attentive. She opened more with her friends and her tests were really good. During those months, she had learned to know more about her teacher. Because they were not always talking about Emma. Miss Mills talked about her childhood too, about her work, the countries she had been, her husband who actually was a teacher in the same school. It felt like she knew her almost as a friend. A friend she had kind of feelings for. Let's say Ms. Mills was more than her crush but she wasn't in love either. Emma liked that, of course, but at the same time, being so close to her teacher, her beautiful teacher was hard. Some time, during the class, she found herself staring again at her teacher. Now that she wasn't on the back of the class anymore, she could see Ms. Mills closer. Her nose, her eyes, her hands, her soft hands. The teacher noticed from time to time when she was staring. She would just stare back at her then go back to her own work. It was like she didn't mind. **_"why doesn't she mind?"_** Emma wondered.

The teacher also loved dresses. Formal dresses and dresses… More suggestive. One day, as usual, Ms. Mills was wearing a dress. A blue one, where you could see a little bit of her cleavage.

"… Now start to write your essay. You have 1h30." She said while heading to her desk.

Everyone started, including Emma. But something was bothering her. It was like if someone was watching her. So she looked up to see what was going on. She found her teacher, leaning on her own desk, staring at her with a raised eyebrow. Emma stared back, they held their gaze for a few seconds before Emma, who couldn't stop her eyes, looked down. **_don't look at her. Not there. Don't. It's inappropriate_** Too late. It lasted half a second but she couldn't stop her. She looked back at her teacher. Ms. Mills was looking at her with a smirk. They stared again for a moment, then Emma turned her head and went back to work.

This happened a few times during the year.

"…do you, Emma?"

What? Oh, right. She was daydreaming, again. Thinking about her teacher.

"What Ruby?"

"I said that I was going to the ball this year and I was asking you if you were planning on going as well?"

"Oh… Erm I haven't really thought about it to be honest. Plus I have no one to go with…"

"Why don't we go by ourselves?" suddenly said Belle.

"Heeeeey that's a good idea" said Ruby

"Yeah why not! This could be cool!"

"We're gonna have a lot of fun, dear. Trust me."

"Now we need dresses!" said Belle

"SHOPPIIIIIING" they screamed.

Emma was sure she was gonna have fun with those 2 crazy girls with her. And maybe Ms. Mills would be there too?

The year went on without a lot of problem at school, at home it was still hard but she wasn't paying attention anymore.

"Are you going to the ball?" asked Ms. Mills

"Actually yes, I am."

"That's cool. I'm happy for you! Who are you going with?"

"Ruby and Belle, we decided to go by ourselves."

"That's a good idea." She said, smiling

"… Are you?"

"Am I what, dear?"

"Going to the ball."

"Yes."

"Oh. Great, I can't wait to see you."

"Excuse-me?"

"No, I mean. Cool. That's cool that you're going."

"I guess so, Emma." Ms. Mills said, laughing

"Hah…" **_you're so stupid, Emma._**

"You know, we could hang out some time."

"What?"

"I know you love running, and as you know, I love that too. So I was thinking, why not pick you up one day and we'll go together?"

"Oh… Yeah… Why not…" **_is this real? Omg keep calm_**

"Great."

Emma stood up but Ms. Mills stopped her and came closer.

"And you know what comes after?" Ms. Mills took her hands.

"No…"

"You could come to my house... I have a Jacuzzi." She said, smirking winking at her.

"Okay. Cool. Erm I have to go now." And she ran away.

 ** _why did you run away like that, Emma?_** she thought.

The truth is, Emma may well stare at her, think about her, she never thought this kind of conversation would come. _**you're imagining it, Emma**_ , she said to herself. _**she did not mean it the way you think, Emma**_ _._

The days went on and Emma started to stay away from her teacher. She was so sure that it was all in her mind that she couldn't cope with it anymore. Having her teacher so close to her when they were alone, she could just push her against the wall and kiss her. And that couldn't happen. Because, of course, her teacher wasn't feeling the same attraction. She couldn't. How could someone like that feel something for Emma? That was just unreal. Impossible. And it hurt Emma every time she was thinking about that. _**maybe if you stop talking to her, you'll forget her**_ , she thought.

And that's what she did. She stopped coming at their meetings. When Ms. Mills was asking her how she was feeling, she would just answer quickly and then leave. She would avoid her gaz. It hurt her to do so but it was the best for both of them. All those gestures from her teacher, those words, it was driving her crazy. She was feeling guilty to be like that. To be the one that couldn't stop thinking about her, that couldn't stop looking at her.

A few months later, Emma had totally stopped talking to her teacher. She became colder every time they talked. She could see that it hurt Ms. Mills. She could see it in her eyes. But she couldn't do it another way. She couldn't let her feelings get the upper hand. So she stayed strong. She became sadder with time, even if her friends were amazing with her. She didn't forgot her, even when she tried hard, she didn't.

It was the day of the ball. Emma, Ruby and Belle were on their rooms, getting all dressed up.

"Oh Emma, look at you!"

"How is it?" she asked to the girls.

"You look perfect."

"You're so lovely, Emma!" they said

She had a pinky red-ish dress, had her curls done as well as her makeup.

"Let's go, girls!" said Emma.

The room was filled with students and the music was loud. The girls headed to the bar and took a drink. After an hour, Ruby was dancing with some random guy on the dance floor. Emma and Belle were still at the bar, talking and drinking.

"It's the last day of the year, Emma! Can you believe it?"

"No, not really. It's over already…"

"Are you going to be okay next year?"

"Yeah don't worry…"

"We're gonna miss you so much, Emma!"

"I'm gonna miss you too…"

Eventually, Belle was gone too. Probably with David, the guy she had been dating for a few months. She now was alone. She sat there for a while, sometimes checking at her friends to see if everything was okay. After a long time, she decided to go back to her room. She stood up and started walking. The music was so loud that she started paying attention to the lyrics.

 _I don't know why I keep playing these dumb games_  
_Love is not a competition_  
_And no one's winning when I'm pushing you away_  
_Sometimes darkness is a prison_

She started to think about Ms. Mills. _**ugh not tonight, Emma…**_ she said to herself.

As she was walking, she couldn't stop listening to the lyrics of the song. Suddenly she turned her head and saw someone far away from her. It was her.

 _Turn the lights on, honey, honey, I don't wanna hide_  
_Turn the lights on, honey, I'm surrendering tonight_  
_Although I'm not perfect, I feel perfect in your eyes_  
_Turn the lights on, honey, I don't really wanna hide, not tonight_

Ms. Mills was looking at her. They looked their gaze for so long. They just stared at each other. Emma forgot all the people in the room, it was just both of them. Regina was looking deeply in her. Even if they were far away from each other, Emma could feel her body completely frozen. The teacher started to walk in Emma's direction.

 _Come and crash into me 'cause I want us to collide_  
_Collide, collide, collide_

Then Emma left. Leaving her teacher alone in the crowd.

_Collide, collide, collide_

That was the last time she saw her. She left the room, she left the town, not knowing that during all this time, her teacher was feeling the exact same thing than her.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you liked it!  
> I would love to know what you guys think so maybe leave a comment?  
> The name of the songs are :  
> stories - jaydot and shalom dubas  
> collide - rachel platten  
> Thanks a lot for reading me.  
> Mlle Sween


End file.
